Raffi Torres is still a giant dick hole; Sharks cursed?

Image

It’s Thursday, and you know what that means! Time for your Friday Five. Why? Because it’s ironic, like hipsters, or that Alanis Morissette song that’s ironically not really about irony. 

Continue reading

Advertisements
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

NHL officials are apparently terrible at calling head shots, what’s the solution?

Image

Last night, San Jose Sharks forward Andrew Desjardins delivered a beautiful and entirely legal hit on Chicago’s Jamal Mayers (VIDEO). The Blackhawks winger was clearly dazed by the hit, but popped up pretty quickly, no worse for the wear. Meanwhile, Chicago defenseman Duncan Keith went directly after Desjardins, got his ass kicked, and was assessed a total of 19 minutes in penalties for instigating a fight while wearing a visor. The Sharks prepped for their four minutes of power play time, which they badly needed halfway through a 3-3 tie with the league’s best team.

Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

15 NHL players who have sucked a surprising amount of ass to start the season

Image

Board the struggle bus with these disappointing slow starters!

Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Sharks face season’s toughest test against Blackhawks

Image

The San Jose Sharks have delighted fans with a fast start, winning seven straight to open the season before dropping a skills competition shootout decision to Nashville and a 2-1 squeaker to Anaheim. But outside of a convincing 4-1 win against Vancouver, the Sharks have yet to perform at a high level against the West’s top-tier teams.

Of San Jose’s seven wins, five have come against teams that failed to qualify for the postseason in 2012. Tonight, the Sharks will face the only team remaining that has gained a point in each of its contests – The Chicago Blackhawks.

Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Parity vs. Mediocrity – the Joey Tribbiani theory

Image

The year is 2001. The popular and undeniably classic television sitcom “Friends” is six episodes into its eighth season. Chandler and Monica are hosting a Halloween party. Chandler is, much to his dismay, dressed in a full-sized pink bunny costume. Ross, being a gigantic nerd and purveyor of punny portmanteaus, arrives to the party as “Spud-nik” – a large potato with bits of wire sticking out the top, and a play on Sputnik, the Soviet satellite.  

Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Brad Marchand as Draco Malfoy? NHL villains through a Harry Potter lens

Image

Editor’s note: Man, there sure are a lot of oddly erotic pictures of Draco Malfoy out there on the interwebz. Seriously, conduct a Google image search of Draco Malfoy. It gets weird. Fast.

During Hockey Night in Canada’s marquee matchup between the Boston Bruins and Toronto Maple Leafs on Saturday night, CBC play-by-play announcer Joe Bowen referred to pesky Boston forward Brad Marchand as “the Bruins’ Draco Malfoy.”

As a Harry Potter enthusiast and general nerd, I enjoyed the comparison (though I’m not sure I agree entirely), and got to thinking – which of the NHL’s hockey personalities would join Draco Marchand in Slytherin House? Feel free to weigh in if I’ve omitted anyone.

Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Montreal Canadiens doing everything in their power to alienate best player

PK celly

Thanks to Jeremy Jacobs the NHL lockout, hockey fans had to wait a few extra months for Montreal management’s annual “what the fuck” moment. But the wait is over, and that moment has finally arrived. Rejoice!

Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , | 1 Comment